Monday, January 26, 2009

Winter blues

I definitely believe in the winter blues. I've been so down in the dumps lately with everything being dead, cold, and nasty around me. Like I said in my previous post, we've had snow for four days straight. That didn't help. One of our friends dropped Phillip off and turned his truck over coming out of our neighborhood. He is ok and his truck is a bit banged up. Now, the back story on the last post:
Phillip has been out of work since December. It's been a huge stress for our family and such a bummer for him. His contract ended at his last job and it's been crazy trying to find a job with the economy the way it is. Down side- the job is down in the eastern part of the state at UNC-G. It's a great job. It's a great opportunity. But, it's 4 hours away and I don't have a job there. I work for the state and I love what I do. I want to transfer to another branch within my agency. But, the good ole' governor put a hold on ALL state jobs. NO ONE IS HIRING!! There were two branches with my position open, but now since the jobs are on hold, the positions have gone away. The state has cut our budgets so bad. We can't even buy paper, pens, post-its... anything! So, for these branches to keep the employees that they have, they had to close and discard the positions that I applied for. BIG BUMMER! So, it looks like Biggie Smalls and I will be here in the mountains until I can find something. I'm pretty sure it will take a while. Even if I do get a chance to transfer agencies it takes at least a month for them to interview, and two to three months for the offer to get approved before they offer it to me. The thing is, I could technically have more of a chance to get a job if I transfer, but there's no guarantee that there will be an opening, or that I will get a job. So, the plan is for me to be up here until I can transfer, but I have a very strong feeling that will last waaaaay to long. I'm super scared to have the baby by myself. I don't know how military or single moms do it. I need lots of prayers. I'm in panic-mode now even as I write this post. Phillip moves this Saturday. I will miss him a lot. I will miss seeing him hold Carter in the nook of his arm like he does. I will miss going home and having lunch with him. I will miss seeing him at the end of the day. I will miss him being next to me in bed and having him as my security blanket. I will REALLY miss him putting the paci back in Carter's mouth and pulling the late night shifts so I can be rested for work. I will REALLY miss being able to hug him whenever I want.
Ok, I gotta stop talking about this.

Carter is doing well. He seems to be cutting his bottom two teeth. I can see the pearly whites under his gums. He's drooling like no other. He's chewing on EVERYTHING. He's crying all the time. He has changed his nursing habits. He seems to be hurting now when he eats. This makes for really hard times for mommy because he's not very nice when he's nursing. He thinks he can take it with him when he yanks his head away in pain. YOWZERS! Any tips from nursing mothers will be greatly appreciated.
He rolled over for the first time the other day. He's been able to roll from his front to back for a long time now, but he rolled from back to front for the first time on Friday. My little boy is growing up!
More tomorrow....


catie said...

Know that I am really thinking about you in all of this. I can't imagine that either. I can't even imagine being a mommy to a puppy without Chris, and this is way more serious. I love you and if there is anything I can do, let me know. (And keep Aunt Kate on speed dial--I think she will be more than willing to help out lots with Baby Carter). HUGS.

Future Envy of the PTA said...

Thanks Catie! I hope you and hubbie are doing good. I hope I get to see you both before we move!